Coming of Age

Published July 12, 2014 by Jess Arwen

Inspired by The Daily Post’s Long Exposure: Among the people you’ve known for a long time, who is the person who’s changed the most over the years? Was the change for the better?

Today’s prompt reminds me of a Billy Joel song actually. I find the emotion he expresses in it pathetic, since he’s crying over some girl, but I kind of understand it. Just the way the prompt was worded and the way the song starts correlated them, “Of all the people in the world that I know, you’re the best place to go when I cry, when I cry.” Here it is if you want to listen. I like the soothing guitar on it.

Now, the person I’ve known who has changed most in the time I’ve known them would be a man who broke my heart, Eric. Way back when (since I’m so very old now!), in high school, I fell for Eric who was also my best friend at the time. We were, so I thought, kindred spirits, for we’d get coffee and talk for hours about philosophy or science, music, metaphysics, aesthetics, religion, all the profound stuff. I completely opened up to him, and he loved it. It appeared that he opened up to me as well, but probably not quite as much as I had hoped.

Since he was my best friend and I had no car, he frequently drove me home from school (our school was too small to have a bus system going). From the outside, everything was great, and many people considered us dating. I hoped to wear him down enough to finally ask me out, but unfortunately, that never happened.

After a year or so, he began to avoid me and grew belligerent when I would insist on spending time together. It was very sad for me, for I felt I didn’t have anyone else to share my love of profound topics.
Well, high school’s been done for the both of us for quite some time now, and we stopped communicating other than seeing each other’s Facebook statuses. I’d forgotten about him and found my soulmate in the process. I still held a grudge against him though, for he broke my heart and never apologized. I honestly thought we were meant to be, and he encouraged it a lot of the time; though, he constantly said that he didn’t want to lead me on.

Three years without contact passed, and I came home from work one day to find a Facebook message from him. I was scared to open it, but I did. He apologized, after not speaking for so long, for how he acted back then. He said that he didn’t realize how cruel he had been to me and that he was learning a lot about the grace of God at that point. It was a beautiful message, and I of course wrote him back to share forgiveness and also apologize for being so pushy and hormonal (haha) back then, but other than that, we haven’t spoken since. Though we haven’t talked at all since then, I feel like God’s been working on his heart. I never expected him to do something like that, but I’m glad he did, for now I don’t have to hate him!

Trust me, it’s hard work to hate someone.

In any case, it’s a coming of age moment when you can humble yourself enough to admit that you were wrong in doing anything, and I hope that I can do the same if I ever wrong someone.

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