Ah, a new theme makes this old blog feel so fresh and exciting! It marks a turning point in my life.
Being a double major with a minor is tough work, and lately, I’ve been feeling extremely burnt out. I even considered taking a semester off and working some minimum wage job, just to find myself again, but my scholarships would not allow that. Thus, I continued on with my education, treading closer and closer to those graduation steps and wondering why it was I am even trying to get a diploma.
Last week, due to snowy weather, there was ice everywhere on campus, and I slipped at the top of some brick steps and fell the ten steps down to the sidewalk.
It was literally the scariest moment of my life.
My life flashed before my eyes and everything, and I apparently gave myself a concussion. This was a pretty bad concussion, because I was down and out of class for a few days due to migraine-like symptoms. When I did go back, my head hurt, and loud noises would give me blinding pain, so singing again caused me physical pain. I could not go to piano lessons or jazz band at all because of the sound-levels of both places.
It was a rough week.
The doctors told me that the best thing for me to do was to sit and/or sleep in a dark room until my head felt better, not thinking, not doing homework, definitely not making noises. This time of meditation and forced hiatus from music made me realize that music truly is my passion. All the extra stuff I’m doing is simply getting in the way, for music is mine. I now know what things I want to drop next year, because I’m currently employed too many places for it to be healthy.
I meant this to be some poignant and well-thought-out piece, but I think I’ll leave it as is. I just want to be a musician, and something as horrible as this concussion experience showed me how true life can be.
Here’s to the passion in each of us!